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Chatting like its 1995 in ERC

Impersonate mIRC w/ ERC, because who doesn't love mIRC?

(defvar my-erc-version "mIRC Version 7.0")

(defun my-erc-ctcp-query-VERSION (_proc nick _login _host _to _msg)
  "Send CTCP response to NICK."
  (erc-send-ctcp-notice nick (concat "VERSION " my-erc-version)) nil)

(setf erc-disable-ctcp-replies t)
(add-hook 'erc-ctcp-query-VERSION-hook 'my-erc-ctcp-query-VERSION)

(defun erc-cmd-SLAP (nick)
  "mIRC is the greatest IRC client."
  (erc-send-action (erc-default-target) (format "slaps %s around a bit with a large trout" nick)))